Unanswered questions?

I was talking to my therapist a month or so ago about missing my Mom and she asked me if I had any unanswered questions. At the time I couldn't think of any and said it was only why she had to leave so soon but more the things she wouldn't be there for. It's true there's so much she won't be there for...Graduating nursing school, marriage, kids, etc....

But the past weeks I've been thinking (scary thought I know).... There's so little I know about my mom's childhood and upbringing, her side of the family isn't much into talking so that does me no good. And there's alot I don't know about my own childhood, obviously I remember some but I know very little about my infancy through about the age of 5. There are so many gaps, some it seems a mom can only fill. There are a few stories that got told numerous times that I remember, such as the fact that I was a colicky infant and my father worked the graveyard shift and as soon as he walked through the door my mom would hand me off to him because I had been crying so long. I remember a vague story that perhaps it wasn't that I was really colicky but that my Mom didn't produce enough milk and thats why I was such a cranky baby. I know that I was born at home but that at 5 days old I had to be hospitalized; I had jaundice so bad I had to have a total body blood transfusion. I almost died, spent a few weeks in the hospital. I have a small scar on my belly button and only the vague details above, that's it.

So yes there are unanswered questions....I'm not sure maybe it's because she's gone I want to know these things or maybe just because I am approaching my 30's....Either way I'll never know and that's just another reality, another thing amoung a long list of reasons it sucks to be a "motherless daughter."