Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Missing You

I've been thinking about, and missing my Mom alot the past week. It's not an anniversary or near any big holiday's so I'm not really sure what provoked it... BUT the strange thing is that 2 days ago my Friend sent me THIS link because the song made her think of my Mom. Like she said it so fits my Mom... and fits my feelings perfectly too.

Then this afternoon her Obit. that I printed all those years ago suddenly appeared on my desk.

I hate it when this intense missing seems to just comes out of nowhere. I get so annoyed with myself, I know that anniversaries and major holidays (birthdays, Christmas, mother's day, etc) will evoke these feelings and most people seem to know and expect that...But these "bad" REALLY missing/needing her days that come out of nowhere, I HATE! I tell myself shut up, it's been four years, get over it already.... Does anyone else ever feel like that?

I guess realistically that a lot of it is that I have been going to therapy and going through a lot of personal issues with that. Makes me need my Mom there to talk to, lean on, cry on her shoulder, just hold me. Some days the longing to just be safe in her arms is so strong that I just want to be with her. I guess this is what people mean by good days and bad days.

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